


Drunkbeard Halt

by JRanger_Raven



Category: Ranger's Apprentice - John Flanagan
Genre: Alcohol, Funny, Oneshot, drinking contests, drunk halt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-25
Updated: 2015-09-25
Packaged: 2018-04-23 06:46:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4867064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JRanger_Raven/pseuds/JRanger_Raven
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Halt snickered. "Waitress," Gilan called. "Can we get another beer over here?" And that began the Davidson-O'Carrick Drinking Contest."<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	Drunkbeard Halt

**Author's Note:**

> (Note: this was written because of a Tumblr prompt given to me by queen-of-hell-love. She/he/they get credit for the idea.)

It was raining hard out. The streets were almost flooded, and there were puddles everywhere you stepped. Luckily, Halt, Will and Gilan were in a town, so naturally they settled on staying at an inn/tavern for the night.

They were exhausted. They’d been traveling for hours on horseback, going to Gallica for some business with the king. They were more than halfway there, and there was no doubt that if everything went well, they’d arrive at their destination the next day, so they didn’t feel guilty about splitting the trip up into two nights.

Will got them a room, Gilan grabbed a table in the tavern, and Halt put up the horses in the stables. Will was the last back to the table in the corner that Gilan had picked for them.

“I ordered you some coffee,” Gilan said, as the apprentice sat down. “You tired?”

“Very much,” Will replied. “And thank you.” He yawned, and then slowly rested his head on the table. His forehead was wet, and so was the table, but he didn’t mind.

“You’re going to need it, too,” Halt said gruffly. “We’re not sleeping in tomorrow.” Will mumbled something incomprehensible and nodded.

A well-built waitress walked over to their table with a tray full of glasses and cups. She said in an exhausted tone, “Three coffees and a beer?” The three rangers nodded, and she set the four drinks down. The beer was set in front of Will, who still hadn’t lifted his head off the table. The waitress walked away and Will reached for the beer, but Gilan snatched it away quickly.

“Nu-uh,” he said. “Too young. Only tiny.” He took a big sip and Will finally looked up. Only then did he realize the drink he was reaching for.

“O-Oh,” he mumbled, “sorry, I didn’t see what I was getting.” He lifted up the coffee mug instead.

“A beer?” Halt asked, staring at his former apprentice. “With coffee?”

Gilan grinned and nodded. “Yep. I want to stay awake, but I also want a buzz.” He lifted both glasses up and poured them into different sides of his mouth.

Halt looked away. “That’s disgusting,” he whispered. Gilan made no comment on whether it was or not. “But don’t get drunk,” said Halt. “Like I said, we have business tomorrow, and I don’t want you meeting the king of Gallica with a hangover. None of us look good in that scenario.”

Halt pronounced scenario ‘sce-nahr-rio’. That pronounciation made Gilan glance up from his two drinks. “Scenario,” he corrected, saying ‘sce-nair-rio’.

“It really doesn’t matter, Gilan.”

Gilan rolled his eyes, and lifted the beer to his lips. “It really doesn’t matter, Gilan,” he mocked. After another drink he said, “And I won’t get drunk, Halt. I can drink two glasses without getting drunk, so that’s all I’ll have.”

Halt raised an eyebrow. “Two?”

“Two. What, like you can do better?”

Halt couldn’t resist a smile. It wasn’t a happy smile, though… it was a smile that said ‘bring it on’. “Is that a challenge?” he asked, leaning forward.

Gilan grinned from ear to ear, and also leaned forward. “It is,” he said. Halt snickered. “Waitress,” Gilan called. “Can we get another beer over here?” And that began the Davidson O’Carrick Drinking Contest.

“I already had like three drinks,” Gilan said, once Halt had his beer. “So you take three, and then we’ll go one-for-one.”

“Deal,” Halt agreed. So he started.

Will ordered a chicken leg with his mentor’s beer, and he was eating that now. Of course, he wasn’t going to participate in this drinking contest. He was young (even though he could probably get away with it), and wouldn’t have accepted anyway because he was too tired. He thought it’d be fun to just watch this go down.

Once Halt was finished with his three drinks, he gestured to Gilan. “Your turn,” he said. Gilan nodded, and took a drink. Then Halt. Then Gilan. Then Halt.

“U-Um…” Will began, after five turns, “I thought, Halt, you said you didn’t want us to have hangovers tomorrow.”

“We won’t,” Halt assured his young apprentice. “We’re just drinking until we’re tipsy. We won’t get a hangover from just that.” Will wasn’t too sure, but he didn’t want Halt to be angry at him if he got drunk so he left it alone.

They finished their first glass, and then ordered another each. “Five minute break,” Halt said. “Then we’ll continue.”

Gilan turned to Will. “Did you bring your lute?” he asked.

Will shook his head. “No.”

“Aw.”

“I brought my mandola, though.”

Gilan stared at Will, confused, for what seemed like a few minutes. Will stared back, dead serious. Then Gilan turned to his former mentor and started to ask ‘What’s the difference?’. Halt sighed and interrupted him before he could finish, though.

“Don’t even bother,” he said. “He gets snippy when you call it a lute.”

Will rolled his eyes. “I do not get snippy,” he mumbled. “But if you were going to ask me to play for you, Gilan, I won’t, because I’m too tired tonight.”

“Aw, okay.” Then Gilan grinned. “I was hoping you could sing a few verses of Greybeard Halt.” He received a lethal glare from that song’s very subject. Gilan just chuckled, though. “I remember the story of you accidently singing that version, Will. That was funny. If Crowley hadn’t been there then Halt probably would’ve broken your lute.” This time, he received lethal glares from both the subject and the singer. Gilan just kept laughing, though. Now he had made both of them angry.

Five minutes later, they finally got their beers. Halt and Gilan continued their contest.

“I told you, Halt,” Gilan said, halfway through his second glass. “Two beers.”

Halt was losing, he had to admit. There was a buzz rushing through his body, but another part of him was drowsy. That meant he was getting tipsy. “I am not drunk,” he denied. He was trying to keep his speech as sharp as possible, so he wouldn’t slur his words. It was his turn, and after a small sip he continued, “I told you two beers, and I am going to make it until two beers.”

Gilan shrugged. He seriously doubted it. “If you say so. But don’t feel bad. I used to drink a lot when I was younger; especially when I became a full-fledged ranger.”

Will looked over at him. “Really?” he asked.

“Oh yeah! Crowley was younger back then, so he and I used to get together and drink it up.” Gilan sighed, memories flooding back to him. “Ah, I miss those days.” He lifted the glass to his mouth.

Will looked down at the table. “I wonder if that’ll happen with me,” he thought out loud. He had to admit, it did sound kinda cool.

Gilan pushed the glass over to him with a smile. “Here,” he said, “you might as well practice.”

Will didn’t even get a chance to take the handle because Halt intervened immediately. “No!” he yelled. “Do not lead my apprentice down the dark path of beer and alcohol! He is not ready! Too young!”

Gilan and Will stared at the dark haired ranger in worried surprise. “I’m really not that young. He’s drunk,” Will whispered. Gilan nodded in agreement. But they finished their second glass anyway.

“Waitreeesss!” Halt called, with a big grin painted on his face. “ ’Nother glass p’eaaaase!”

“No,” Gilan said. He put a hand on Halt’s shoulder. “No, Halt, you’ve had enough.”

“I ‘aven’t!” He sloppily pawed Gilan’s hand off him. “I ain’t drunk yet, silly Gil-Gil…”

Will snorted. “Gil-Gil,” he whispered to himself.

“Aw, shush, Willy-Will.”

Gilan was laughing, too. “Aw, he’s kinda cute, isn’t he, Will?” He and the apprentice studied Halt as he leaned on the table for support, eyes half open. His cheeks were flushed, and a silly grin was stretched out on his face. Will unsurely nodded. He didn’t want to say yes, or no. “I guess this means I win!” Gilan exclaimed. “Awesome.”

The waitress from before walked over and saw the almost-asleep ranger reeking of alcohol. “Has he had enough?” she asked.

“Oh, yeah,” Gilan said. “Don’t listen to him; I think we’re gonna turn in for the night.” He started searching his pockets for money. Not that Gilan didn’t have a buzz; he did. It was just that he was much more used to this than Halt. Halt drank, but not to get drunk. Gilan, on the other hand, did both. So he knew how to handle it better.

“H, Hey…” Halt chuckled, looking up in awe at the waitress. “G’me ‘nother beer.”

This happened all the time. “No, I don’t think so,” she said, rolling her eyes.

Halt was even slurring his laugh now. “Well, if you can’t do that, then maybe you can g’me your name. There’s a lot of people here; you’ve been workin’ hard. A good lookin’ girl like you, I’d be happy to give you a reward…” And he winked.

Gilan and Will stared in complete shock at what Halt had just said. Because Halt was the last person that would ever say something like that. The silence lasted for seconds, minutes. The waitress took Gilan’s money and quickly walked away.

So, obviously, they took Halt back to the inn room. They had to help him walk, since he was so off balance. Will had thought before that he would be the one needing help to walk… but no. Halt was in worse condition now than he was.

“God, you guys, I can walk, okay?” he insisted. All of his protests were ignored.

When they got to the room, Will and Gilan pushed him towards his bed, and he fell on it like a dead body. Within seconds, he was asleep and snoring. Gilan and Will just sighed, and looked down at him. “Behold,” Will whispered, “the great Halt O’Carrick.”

Gilan laughed. “Drunkbeard Halt,” he said.

That next morning, Halt had a terrible hangover. Gilan did not. But he and Will had a fabulous time repeating to him the events of the night before. It’d be a long time before they forgot that night.


End file.
